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It hurt to have to be a secret, but we both were in the same exact position and we were OK with it. This was something I wasn't comfortable with at all, but was something that I just kept coming back to. Happiness, fear, excitement, nervousness. It was a mix of every emotion you can imagine. It wasn't until senior year of high school that I truly found someone that I liked. I only went to the extent of having crushes every so often on my girl best friends, and let my confusion of awkward self identity be the reason I never pursued anything.
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I would be faced with questions or scenarios about relationships and dating that I wouldn't know how to respond to or react. Sometimes being the center of attention all the time, however, put me into some uncomfortable situations growing up. You can easily bet I was the class clown (and also teacher's pet) in almost every class. I finally started to get senses of who I was and let my personality shine through once I started getting into musical theatre. I had close relationships with a lot of people - there was just always one thing I never would talk about. I took on my adolescent years in a state of confusion and dishonesty, not really fully opening up to anybody I knew - especially family. Of course." I sat in my room that night and thought about it for hours. "Well, do you even like girls?" With a quick, ignorant and dishonest response to mainly get off the topic, I replied, "Duh, mom. not really." She then asked me something that sparked years of confusion. My mother sat me down in our living room after having finished an episode of American Idol and asked me, "Do you like anyone at school?" I responded all shy, "No. I mean, I always knew something was off, but this was the first time I really questioned it.
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When I was 13, I had the first sense that I was different. With balancing my part-time jobs, last-minute auditions, commercial bookings, daily YouTube videos and social life, you can say my life is nothing but hectic - and I love it. I'm originally from Detroit, Michigan, but now reside in Los Angeles, California pursuing my one true dream of being an actor.
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I am a goal-driven 20 year-old with a terrible Starbucks addiction. My name is Jordan Dowodzenka, or Jordan Doww for short, which is what I tend to go by nowadays.